great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
I want to walk on stilts...naked
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
Randomize
