She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
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