loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
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I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
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"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
I lost the right to judge tonight
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
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