One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
Randomize
