My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
Randomize
