my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize
