So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
Randomize
