You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
Randomize
