she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
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