We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
Shame - the story of my life.
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