Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
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