Kiss
Puke
May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
The police scanner is talking about you again....
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
