I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
Randomize
