I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Randomize
