Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Randomize
