Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
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