The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
Randomize
