You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
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she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
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