i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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