You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
She needs sedatives and a leash
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
Randomize
