if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
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