he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
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