May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Randomize