Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
Randomize