So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize
