I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
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