i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
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