Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Randomize
