He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
Randomize
