Old men and throwing up are my life now.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
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