Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Randomize
