He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
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