How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
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