I'm drunk at a fancy martini bar, wearing jeans, drinking cheap vodka that I brought in my purse. Got thrown out of court for using my cell phone. All in all calling Thursday a success.
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
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