so the guy behind me in court for my DUI hearing got a DUI on a lawnmower at 1AM...he is my new hero
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
Naked Twister starts at high noon
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
Randomize
