glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize
