You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Randomize
