I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
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