I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
The adults are the big ones right?
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
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