SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
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