What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize
