Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
Randomize
