She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
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