so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
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