I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
Imagine two people making love on top of a unicorn . . . my life is the opposite of that.
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
Randomize
