i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
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