; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
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