i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
