Define "chronic" masturbator.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
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