Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
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