possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
