Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Randomize
