wanna go halves on a baby?
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
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