Three words: puerto rican gang bang
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
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