i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
We have so much sex to catch up on
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
