i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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