I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
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