I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
Randomize
