I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
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