its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Randomize
