the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
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